Aches and Pains

Isn’t it amazing what our bodies can endure?  Every morning it’s a challenge just to get out of bed.  I have to move slowly, stretch out each part of limbs and my back before even getting into a seated position on the side of the bed and yet I do.  I often make the mistake of assuming that whatever aches and pains I’m experiencing are just the result of my Fibro.  That’s not always the case.  Eight years ago when I found out I was pregnant I was just about to go under the knife for a torn rotator cuff.  I had tears in both but the right one was really affecting my quality of life.  Because I was pregnant I put off the surgery.  Then I had my Joey and I put it off because I didn’t want to restrict myself with being able to hold him, carry him, feed him.  Then I just got busy with life as a new mom and set aside the thought of surgery at all.  At least with all the cuddle time I wasn’t lifting much other than my baby and I think that allowed me time to heal somewhat as the pain decreased.  Now eight years later and it’s rearing it’s ugly head again.

The other day while out on an adventure we stopped to take pictures.  At the end my guys gave me a hand getting up off the ground and in doing so my shoulder cried out in pain.  I tried to shake it off.  When I got home I went out to play some catch with Joey but only after three throws I knew it was not a good idea.  I thought to myself that I must have torn that rotator cuff even more.  The hubby insisted I make a doctor’s appointment and so I did for this morning.  Yesterday I took it easy as I didn’t want to do any more damage to myself and increase my pain level any more.  However my sons blue eyes called out to me to play ball with him.  I told him I couldn’t dashing his hopes in the process.  I began to do stretches and rotations trying to ease the pain when all of a sudden I heard a very large “POP” and instantly my pain went down several notches.  I think rather than tearing it more the boys must have pulled a little too hard and pulled it slightly out of the socket and with stretching I’d managed to put it back in place.  As you can imagine I was relieved and I cancelled my doctor’s appointment for today.

Yes, I know I should of kept it as I know there is some tearing in there that really could use repair but I have a deep aversion to doctor’s with as often as I need to see them as a result of my Fibro.  I know surgery to repair my rotator cuff could very well improve my mobility in that arm and yet I’m hesitant to under go any procedures that are going to cause me even more pain even if only in the immediate future and not long term.

When did I become so accepting of my aches and pains?  To me this is my normal and so I don’t really give it any thought, I just do what needs to be done to have some joy in my day.

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