Aches and Pains

Isn’t it amazing what our bodies can endure?  Every morning it’s a challenge just to get out of bed.  I have to move slowly, stretch out each part of limbs and my back before even getting into a seated position on the side of the bed and yet I do.  I often make the mistake of assuming that whatever aches and pains I’m experiencing are just the result of my Fibro.  That’s not always the case.  Eight years ago when I found out I was pregnant I was just about to go under the knife for a torn rotator cuff.  I had tears in both but the right one was really affecting my quality of life.  Because I was pregnant I put off the surgery.  Then I had my Joey and I put it off because I didn’t want to restrict myself with being able to hold him, carry him, feed him.  Then I just got busy with life as a new mom and set aside the thought of surgery at all.  At least with all the cuddle time I wasn’t lifting much other than my baby and I think that allowed me time to heal somewhat as the pain decreased.  Now eight years later and it’s rearing it’s ugly head again.

The other day while out on an adventure we stopped to take pictures.  At the end my guys gave me a hand getting up off the ground and in doing so my shoulder cried out in pain.  I tried to shake it off.  When I got home I went out to play some catch with Joey but only after three throws I knew it was not a good idea.  I thought to myself that I must have torn that rotator cuff even more.  The hubby insisted I make a doctor’s appointment and so I did for this morning.  Yesterday I took it easy as I didn’t want to do any more damage to myself and increase my pain level any more.  However my sons blue eyes called out to me to play ball with him.  I told him I couldn’t dashing his hopes in the process.  I began to do stretches and rotations trying to ease the pain when all of a sudden I heard a very large “POP” and instantly my pain went down several notches.  I think rather than tearing it more the boys must have pulled a little too hard and pulled it slightly out of the socket and with stretching I’d managed to put it back in place.  As you can imagine I was relieved and I cancelled my doctor’s appointment for today.

Yes, I know I should of kept it as I know there is some tearing in there that really could use repair but I have a deep aversion to doctor’s with as often as I need to see them as a result of my Fibro.  I know surgery to repair my rotator cuff could very well improve my mobility in that arm and yet I’m hesitant to under go any procedures that are going to cause me even more pain even if only in the immediate future and not long term.

When did I become so accepting of my aches and pains?  To me this is my normal and so I don’t really give it any thought, I just do what needs to be done to have some joy in my day.


Memories One Cup at a Time

It’s amazing to me how a simple accident can bring back so many wonderful memories.  This morning my husband was making my son and I tea and he accidentally started to add milk to my tea instead of our son’s.  Nobiggee, I’ll still drink it.  He brought it to me, all milky brown and steaming and as soon as I saw it I thought of my Grandma Queenie.  With the first sip I was taken back to my elementary school days and coming home from school to hot (lukewarm) tea and cream puffs my grandma had made for me and all my friends.  Each day would be a repeat of the same except the baked item would change.  One day it’s cream puffs, the next apple strudel, then a pie of some sort and I think you get the idea.  She made going to school, our “job”, seem worth all the effort in exchange for our tea parties.  We each had our favorite tea-cup.  Dawn and I would drink out of small matching ones covered in violets with our pinkies extended out.  The cups themselves couldn’t have been any bigger than a Dixie cup but they were just perfect for our little hands.  As we aged we moved up to normal sized tea cups with their matching saucer.  I always chose the one with beautiful trees that were covered in pink blossoms.  Just looking at it made me happy.

Tea Time

Tea Time

Having those afterschool tea parties made me happy, and my friends happy, and I believe made my grandma happy as well.  We were her brood to look after; Dawn, Suzy, Michelle and I.  The four musketeers and my grandma as our queen.  She came and went in our lives living with us one year and back to her own home the next but when she was living with us the tea parties would resume and I’d add a friend here and there so that the group was always expanding.  When we were old enough and she moved back to her home permanently then my friends and I would talk our parents into driving us up for the weekend to stay with her and as we progressed into getting our own drivers licenses you would find a group of us heading up to Clearlake and her house almost every weekend during the summer.  And again you’d find us sitting around her kitchen table, picking out our favorite tea cups from her china hutch and drinking tea late into the evening, having a hen party as she liked to call it and munching on her delectable creations.