Truly, deep down into the uttermost reaches of my being, I am not a PDA type person. Must have been all that good christian upbringing my Grandma raised me, and all my friends, up on but in her mind everything was pretty black and white with nary any grey in sight. For instance, you don’t kiss every boy you meet, and the ones you want to kiss you make wait a long while until you know deep down that they’re deserving of such an honor. She also was fond of saying you don’t give compliments out like candy unless they are duly warranted. Me, I like to give compliments even if it’s something as simple as “That outfit really fits you well and lends a little oomph to who you are today.” This could be said to a complete stranger or someone I’ve known a while but my point is that they may not have been duly warranted, but that doesn’t negate that it is my truth and it makes me feel good to say it, and hopefully makes them feel good to have it acknowledged. Grandma would say some things – well actually most of them when it comes to physical displays, are best left to one’s own imagination and no one else’s. Have to say I agree with that one 100%. And I guess you could say over time her little phrases became embedded in me and a part of who I am even to this day and morphed into what I believe for the most part.
Larry and I to are on two different end of the spectrum when it comes to PDA’s. I’m okay with hugs – hugs of hello or goodbye, all-encompassing “I’m so sorry” hugs, or simply you’re the best type of hugs. But when it goes beyond that it puts me off. I feel on display and embarrassed, which in turn makes me prickly and not cooperative at all. Larry on the other hand he’s all for PDA’s, any where, any time, for any reason. If he loves you, or likes you, feels you need to be lifted up in spirit, he is your man. Arms outstretched, lips at the ready, a quick wink… whatever it takes he’s going supply it if it will make your day a better one and in return make his a better one. I get that part of it, I do and would like to be able to give that freely as well but I just can’t at this stage of my life.
Even giving kudos’ to family and friends when they’ve helped me is difficult. Not in the sense of telling them directly, but in doing it over say Facebook for all the world to see. I feel like those are personal moments, shared with whomever was present at the time, and the words and gestures of appreciation, or comfort, or whatever don’t need to go beyond that. Don’t ask me what the basis for this behavior is because I don’t have an answer, it’s just how I feel. If I had to guess I’d say a part of it for me is I’ve always liked to be the Wizard behind the curtain like in Oz. I got to make all the magic happen and allow the wonder to flow out freely to all who chose to enjoy it and didn’t need or want the kudos’ of this magnificent thing they’d just been a part of. Even in my old life, my working life, I would create fun and interesting off-site meetings, working my tail off to get my company the best rates for travel, rooms, food and beverages not to name the number of personal hours I may put in coming up with and then creating those special little personal touches that make any trip, and especially a work trip, so memorable. One example may be tracking down the best chef and location in the Napa Valley and having all of us cook dinner together under this renowned chef to make us feel more like a family than just co-workers. Or putting together welcome baskets which each individuals favorite things so that they would feel like they weren’t so far from home – could be a favorite tea, a certain magazine or book type that they like to read, or a favorite soap. Whatever it was, the joy for me was assembling something I knew they’d get pleasure out of.
Now having said all that I’m going to shout out my PDA’s today. To my favorite girlie – Jessica, who lent me a car so my hubby could take my truck up to beer camp for the weekend. Not only did she loan me the car, but gave me breaks here and there with Joey and my Mom and I really appreciate those impromptu gifts from the heart. And of course I can’t forget her gift of motivation – she actually got me up off my behind by helping me organize my laundry room (it’s still a work in progress), and vacuuming while me and the kiddo’s picked up toys, papers, clothes, etc. Between her and I we almost got my household caught up on the piles of laundry that always seem to get away from me.
And to my favorite man – my hubby, I want to say thanks for staying in touch while you were away on your special annual retreat. Just hearing your voice brings me peace, well maybe not peace when it’s a 2:00 AM drunk rambling – I mean it is beer camp after all, but this year you done good keeping us tethered together during appropriate hours. I also appreciate that you made it home fairly early on a Sunday morning and stepped in and pickup up where I had left off. Continuing with the laundry, and cooking all of us that fabulously healthy fish dinner. I really needed that, and to just have those couple of hours to myself after the last couple of crazy weeks and you delivered. I love you.
So I guess I can do some PDS’s within reason, and if it makes my hubby happy then I guess I can do the occasional kiss in public (no tongue Larry so don’t get any ideas), because some public displays of affection are appropriate.